Where did they all go? Where did those times that I've shared with so many? Where did they go? Where did I lose them? I found some scraps on my website. I read all of the notes. I have people that care about me. That I care about. They love me. But where did the times go? I can't find them anymore. I feel as though I am nearly a quarter of a person without them. I want them back. I want to change how everything happened. I love you! I cry tears of joy in remorse as I think of the deadened and frozen memories left to starve without proper nourishment and attention. I hope they didn't go off to find it elsewhere...Should I seek them out.
Now, I worry of the future. I am scared! I am selfish and greedy and needy and helpless. I want to hold everytime in my arms so tight I can't move. I want to cramp in that state so that even though it may hurt, it is hard to move back. I don't want to continue to move. I want to freeze with the memory, with those times, with my friends, with those events, with our freeflowing complimentary tears, with our eyes, with our hands not empty because they are offered to one another, with them all, with my times, and with hugs, kiss, my thoughts, my touch, my ears, your voice. I want to hear an echo, maybe a scratched record. Whatever, if it brings me back. If it takes me back. If it allows me feel those times, if I can bring those times back. But where do I get them? Where did they go? Where can I cry to? Where can I lie? Where do I die? I lie to myself everyday in saying it is okay. I die everyday more and more as my sore that I can't stop tonguing grows larger and deeper and I become more obsessed with it and its pain. I accept it nowadays.
IN tears IN fears IN broken gears IN losing peers
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